


Garden Variety

by poolsidescientist



Category: Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon), The X-Files
Genre: Crossover, Multi, Post Series, Season/Series 04, The Unknown (Over the Garden Wall), post paper hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-01-28 08:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12602088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poolsidescientist/pseuds/poolsidescientist
Summary: Two FBI agents enter The Unknown...





	1. Lost in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Just rewatched Over the Garden Wall and...I had to. Obviously I own neither series. All and any feedback is wonderful.

“Mulder, where are we going?” Scully looked up at her partner through the snow. She could barely see him. The winds had died down somewhat but it was still falling heavily.

“I thought we were going back to the car?” Mulder answered, brushing snowflakes off of his face, “Scully I think we’re lost.”

At that, Scully frowned. Despite wearing two coats she was freezing. The semi-functional Ford Taurus they had rented from Lariat had slipped on a patch of black ice as they were driving through the graveyard, a hole in a stone wall, and over the train tracks into...somewhere. All because Mulder got excited over a month-and-a-half-old case of two brother who fell into a lake, and both dreamed that they had fallen into a parallel world. The kids were fine, and Scully wasn’t quite sure what there was to investigate but it was an excuse to get out of the basement.

“Scully, do you think we’re dead?”

“Mulder I hope not, I still have Christmas cards to write.” Mulder giggled at his partner.

“Scully you put up your Christmas tree on November 1st.” Scully smirked and Mulder couldn’t help but smile back. They kept walking until they came to a clearing in the forest.

“Someone was here,” Scully picked up a shattered lantern. Nearby was an axe and a pile of sticks with oil dripping out. Black oil. Mulder recoiled at the sight of it, haunted by his recent memories in a Siberian gulag. His eyes glazed over and he took a deep breath before picking up the branch and rubbing the oil across the fingers of his glove before licking it off.

“Tastes like maple,” he joked with relief.

“MULDER!” Scully buried her head in her hands.

“This isn’t alien oil. Just a tree of some sort.”

“Don’t scare me like that,” Scully warned. They kept walking ahead.

“Scully, I think I see a house.” Mulder pointed to a dilapidated-looking property, “we need a place to stay for the night.” He looked up, “it’s getting dark.”

“Okay, but if we run into the Peacock family again I’m sitting you next to Bill at Christmas dinner.” Mulder walked up and knocked on the door. There was no one.

“Lucky me,” Mulder breathed a sigh of relief as he walked into the house. It looked as though a fight had happened but there were no bodies. He wandered around. There was no electricity or running water. “This place is old Scully.”

“I know. That’s why I’m trying to light a fire. Think you can find us some food?” Mulder’s stomach growled.

“I hope so.” Mulder explored the house. Other than the mess in the living room the house looked like an old, albeit dusty cottage. He brought blankets and pillows down from the upstairs and potatoes, cheese, apples, and pots from the basement. It was something.

When he came back, the fire was burning and Scully had boiled some snow for them to drink. They made and ate dinner before making beds out of blankets. Unknown, according to the police report, the two kids called the place they got lost in ‘The Unknown’. Mulder suspected that was where he and Scully were but he was too tired to discuss it. In the morning they would try to get home, but for now they both needed rest.


	2. Yuletide and Pottsfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I finally wrote a second chapter. I own neither of these brilliant series but accept all and any feedback :)

“I’m keeping this axe.”

“Scully, you with an axe fulfils five of my fantasies and three of my deepest fears.” Mulder winked as Scully grimaced at him. They had left the old abandoned house and were on their way through the woods and hopefully towards civilization. Scully had picked up the broken, but still salvageable lantern and a small jar of the bizarre tree oil with them as evidence in her bag. 

“Right now my fantasy is not getting murdered in the middle of nowhere Mulder. Let’s get out of here.” 

And so they walked. And walked. They were going somewhere. They had to be. Scully had shoved food from the house in her bag so that they wouldn’t starve on their way out of the woods. They had taken a break for lunch when Mulder found a sign and brushed off the snow.

“Pottsfield, and it’s not too far away. Looks like we might make it home for Christmas after all.” Mulder took a bite out of his apple.

Once they had eaten, Mulder and Scully followed the path into town. It looked like a small old farm town. Quaint, but harmless.

“Still no cell service,” Scully lamented, knocking on the door of a house on the edge of the town. No one answered.

“It’s unlocked,” Mulder opened the door and walked inside, Scully following a few steps behind him, “hi I’m agent Mulder from the FBI and this is my partner agent Scully, we were wondering if we could use your phone. You see, our car broke down and-”

“Mulder!” Scully pointed at the desk in front of them. Sitting at the desk was a giant turkey. Not a person, not even an alien but a turkey. It blinked and gobbled gently at them, it would have gotten up but Mulder and Scully ran out of the house and closed the door before it got a chance to do so.

“Guess someone missed thanksgiving,” Mulder laughed nervously.

“We were the ones about to become stuffing Mulder, we should get out of this town as quickly as possible.” Mulder could only nod at Scully’s suggestion. They tiptoed cautiously through the town until they heard voices singing ‘O Christmas Tree’ from the inside of a barn.

“Those voices sound pretty human, hopefully one of them can give us directions,” Scully suggested.

“Well, they sure aren’t gobbling,” Mulder joked as they opened the door of the barn.

Inside the barn there was, in fact, a Christmas tree. The residents of the barn were wrapping it in garlands of cranberries and popcorn. There was just one problem, the barn was filled with pumpkin-people. In lieu of heads and body parts, they had painted jack-o-lantern faces and vegetables for body parts. They were impossible creatures, and yet they looked happy. Mulder and Scully tried to leave the barn without anyone noticing but a large shadow rose from the corner of the barn. A tall figure, with the head of a pumpkin and the body of a maypole rose and walked towards them.

“Well, would you look at that. We’ve got some yuletide guests,” the maypole-pumpkin man announced. The rest of the pumpkin people turned around and stared at them, “we don’t usually get visitors in these parts, except for those kids back in the fall”.

“Wait, what kids?” Asked Mulder.

“The two boys, one had a pointy hat and the other one had a teapot. They did their time and then they went back on their journey. But they’ll be back one day and so will you. Care for some Christmas cheer?”

Mulder and Scully slowly backed out of the barn and ran out of Pottsfield as fast as their legs could carry them.


	3. A Winter Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess which questionable grad student finally updated her fic? Me! Life has been busy and I get so little feedback that it took me a while to get back to writing but I enjoy these series (that I do not own) so here I am writing again. Enjoy, and if you have any sort of opinion good or bad on this story I would be happy to hear it :)

“Scully, do you think we’ve travelled back in time or just to an alternate dimension?” Mulder asked as they walked along the road. Pottsfield was just a speck in the distance, it had been at least two hours since they had left the town.

“I can’t think of a single period in history that had pumpkin people.”

“So alternate dimension it is.”

“Mulder, even if that were the case, how would we be able to prove it? The physics exists, the math is there, but it’s all theoretical and there’s no way to even begin to test that hypothesis.” Scully argued, concerned about how their day was going. The sun was just beginning to set and the wind was starting to pick up. Thankfully, there was a building on the horizon, hopefully one with human inhabitants that would let them stay the night.

“But Scully, those two boys, they mentioned similar experiences about the pumpkin people. And the pumpkin people even remembered them! There’s no way that could be a coincidence.”

“They also say frogs playing instruments, a talking bird, and some sort of antlered beast. The boys almost drowned. The brain sometimes acts out when is deprived of oxygen and people sometimes have, shall we say, experiences when they think they are about to die.”

“So you think the boys had near death experiences from drowning? Are we drowning too Scully? And if so why are we experiencing the same alternate reality as they did?” Mulder countered as they continued to walk. The would reach the building, likely a large house, before nightfall.

“I don’t know Mulder. All I know is that they claimed to wake up after defeating some sort of beast that lived off of the souls of those who found themselves lost in the Unknown.”

“That’s it! That’s how we get out of here Scully. We have to find the beast and defeat it! Then we can get out of here and back to our lives.”

“Mulder, I think the beast is some sort of subconscious metaphor. Take it with a grain of salt.” The walked up to the building which, upon closer inspection, resembled an old schoolhouse.

“Speaking of food, I’m starving. I smell food inside. And I hear music,” Mulder walked eagerly into the schoolhouse.

“We heard music in Pottsfield too Mulder,” Scully warned, following her partner and hungrier than she wished to admit.

Mulder and Scully walked into what must have been the schoolhouse cafeteria. It was filled with people. Much to the FBI agents’ relief they were regular people rather than the pumpkin people they had encountered earlier in the day. Humans, all except for the band, which consisted of miscellaneous animals playing instruments and wearing human clothing. Somehow they didn’t even look out of place. There must have been some sort of party taking place as everyone appeared to be dressed up, or what would have been considered dressed up one hundred or so years earlier.

“Scully, do you think we look out of place?” Mulder whispered as they sat down at the edge of a corner table.

“Mulder, there’s a racoon playing the tuba. Looking out of place is the least of our problems.” As they spoke, a lady passed them a plate of food and told them to enjoy.

“Finally, dinner! I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” Mulder took a bite as Scully poked at her food.

“What is….this exactly?” She stared suspicious at the sticky mess on her plate.

“I think it’s potatoes and molasses,” Mulder explained as he continued to wolf it down, “it’s not half bad.” Scully was too hungry to argue and ate her own meal in silence.


	4. Pilgrims and Truth-Seekers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading this, thank you for your patience! I am not dead. I did finish grad school somehow so wish me luck being an adult. Also thank you so much for the feedback after last chapter! Hope you enjoy this one. As always I own neither show.

In their nearly four years of partnership, it was here in the Unknown that Mulder and Scully crashed their first wedding together. The party lasted well into the night, and as breakfast, potatoes and molasses were once again served. While it wasn’t the most exciting meal, Mulder and Scully were hardly in a position to turn down a hot meal. Across from them sat a cat and a very sad looking raccoon. Neither agent was in the mood to question their presence.

“You know Mulder, that was actually the second time I’ve had potatoes and molasses as a meal. Third if you count last night,” Scully admitted.

“I’m surprised Scully, it doesn’t seem like the kind of meal a health-conscious doctor would make for herself.”

“I didn’t. You can blame Bill and Charlie for that one.”

“I’ll be sure to bring it up at Christmas dinner.” Mulder smirked.

“Don’t Mulder. Or else Bill will stuff you and shove you in the oven instead of the turkey.”

“He’ll probably try that anyways. I need to arm myself with embarrassing stories. Spare no detail Scully, tell me the story of potatoes and molasses.”

“It’s really not that exciting Mulder. Dad was at sea and mom was driving Melissa to some sleepaway camp so Bill was left to babysit Charlie and I. Mom left dinner in the fridge, and instructions on how to heat it up. The dinner was chicken, potatoes, and carrots; the potatoes were in one container, and the chicken in carrots in another. Bill heated everything up and was able to bring the potatoes to the table, but he dropped the chicken and carrots. Our dog, Ishmael, ate very well that night.” 

“I’m guessing you didn’t.”

“Not really. Bill split the potatoes between us and called it a meal. Now mom had left a jug of molasses out earlier that day, and Charlie thought it was a good idea to plop it onto everyone’s plates. At that point we were too hungry to argue and Bill offered to buy us ice cream the next day if we didn’t tell mom.”

“And?” 

“And, I had a very nice strawberry sundae for breakfast the next morning.” Scully grinned. Mulder loved seeing his partner smile. He swore he could hear the cat across from him giggle.

Breakfast was slowly ending and the guests were trickling out. The bride and groom looked lovingly at each other, happy to be together. Mulder remembered something in the file about the two boys visiting a school for animals. The teacher and her fiance were likely the newlyweds. An old mill, a town full of pumpkin people, a school for animals, so far Mulder and Scully’s journey through The Unknown was similar to the boys. And the boys were able to get home.

“We should probably we going Mulder,” Scully interrupted his train of thought.

“And we will. Scully, I think I have a theory about how we can get out of The Unknown.”

“That’s one more theory than I have at the moment, what is it?”

“In their file, the boys mentioned an old mill like the one we visited, a town like Pottsfield, and a school for animals. So far we’ve seen and done almost the same things as those kids. I think, if we go through The Unknown the same way they did, we might be able to get home. I know the details in the casefile were murky but it’s the best thing I can think of right now.”

“Okay,” Scully nodded, “there are probably details that we’re missing or evidence we don’t understand yet. I think that the lantern we found when we arrived could potentially be a valuable piece of evidence but I won’t know for sure until we can take it back to the lab. After this school, where did the boys go? Can you remember Mulder?” She gathered her belongings and buttoned up her coat, as did Mulder.

“Something about a tavern. There was singing and a talking horse. The name Beatrice was mentioned throughout the file.”

“Who is Beatrice? Mulder do you have any idea?”

“Vaguely, I think she was a friend to them, maybe some sort of guide?” Mulder got up from the table, following some of the guests. A group of them were talking by the door when Mulder approached them. “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you sir,” a short man with a grey mustache introduced himself to Mulder.

“Thanks. I’m uh, not from around here and my partner and I are looking for a place to stay in the area.”

“A place to live?” the man raised an eyebrow.

“No, just a place for the night.”

“We’re just visiting here,” added Scully, just joining in to the conversation.  
“More pilgrims, I see,” said a squat, middle-aged woman, “I own a tavern not far from here. You can come for a meal and stay the night,” she offered.

“We would really appreciate that,” Mulder thanked the tavern keeper.

As they walked outside of the schoolhouse, the tavern keeper lead them, and her friends to a wagon and invited them all inside. They talked amongst themselves, Mulder and Scully observing in silence. It felt as though it was a long ride, but neither of their watches or phones seemed to work in The Unknown so it was impossible to tell. Everything about The Unknown seemed impossible.

………………………………

“So,” the short man from earlier asked, “ tell me about yourselves pilgrims.” 

It had gotten dark by the time Mulder and Scully arrived and settled into their rooms at the tavern. ‘The Dark Lantern’ was its name. While nearly empty during the day, the cozy tavern was now filled with locals. It had a fireplace, a band playing music, and even a large dog sleeping by the door. The building reminded Mulder of many a british pub from his Oxford days, though Scully was better company than Phoebe had ever been. So far they had enjoyed a nice meal with fine local ale. It was easily the best night they had spent in The Unknown so far.

“Well, my partner and I are from another place. We’re here investigating what happened to the two kids, the ones who came through here. We’re not really pilgrims,” Scully explained. The music stopped suddenly. The man looked scandalised. 

“But if you’re not pilgrims, then what are you?” he asked.

“I guess...I guess you could call us truth-seekers.” Mulder shrugged. The band started up again. The man smiled, and then he began to sing heartily. The people of the tavern joining in:

The seekers of truth come into The Unknown,  
They follow the pilgrims’ path,  
They’re looking for answers, from roads overgrown,  
Though answers don’t always come fast.

Into The Unknown they go! They go!  
Down the river of truth they will row! Will row!  
Searching for answers in shadows and light!  
Until the beast comes for them in the night!

The cross path with the pilgrims’ friends and their foes,  
Meet challenges old and new,  
Hear tales from everyone they bid hello,  
They must discern what is true.

Into The Unknown they go! They go!  
Down the river of truth they will row! Will row!  
Searching for answers in shadows and light!  
Until the beast comes for them in the night!

The lantern of truth bears a perilous flame,  
A difficult choice to make,  
Only by confronting their terror and shame,  
Can the illusion then break!

Into The Unknown they go! They go!  
Down the river of truth they will row! Will row!  
Searching for answers in shadows and light!  
Until the beast comes for them in the night!

“Your nose is bleeding,” Mulder handed Scully a tissue. 

“Thanks Mulder.” she held it against her nose and grimaced. “I think I want to go up and get some sleep.” Scully stood up, making her way to the staircase.

“I think I do too,” Mulder looked at the people around him, “I’ve heard enough ominous music for one night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I'm actually kinda proud of that song.


	5. The Old North Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been an interesting few months but I'm back and I've planned out the rest of the story so yes, it will happen. Thank you for your patience, I aim to finish this fic up before Christmas of this year. I own nothing but the crazy idea of a crossover between these two shows so let me know what you think :)

“Alright Mulder, where did the kids go next?” Scully asked over a breakfast of coffee and cornbread. Her nosebleed had healed and she was feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep. The inn was comfortable and part of her didn’t want to leave it. Especially considering the cold wind outside. The old North wind, as the tavern keeper called it.

“They visited a man by the name of Quincy Endicott.” Mulder took a sip of coffee out of his own mug.

“The one who owned the tea company and thought his mansion was haunted? Sounds spooky.” Scully winked, at which Mulder couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s my name isn’t it?” Mulder spread a generous amount of butter on his cornbread and popped a piece in his mouth. “Thing is, his mansion wasn’t haunted.”

“Obviously not.” Scully rolled her eyes.

“ But wait Scully, it gets even more interesting. Endicott’s mansion had apparently grown so big that it was now attached to his business rival’s, one Margueritte Grey. And they both thought each other were ghosts. Naturally they fell in love,” Mulder took another bite out of his cornbread, “I wish I had my slide projector right now.” Scully sighed and shook her head.

“Oh Mulder. You should really bring your slide projector home for Christmas dinner and show it to Bill.”

“I’m afraid if I do that you might not have your dashing partner anymore.” They both laughed. Despite being lost in what could very well be an alternate dimension, being together made Mulder and Scully feel at home. As though they were eating breakfast in their grandmother’s kitchen.

“I’m thinking we should give this Mr. Endicott a visit Mulder, so far we’ve followed the path that those kids took. We’ve met the same people, and...other things.” Not everyone they had met were human, and it pained Scully to admit it, but there was something supernatural about the Unknown. Something that made her feel deeply uncomfortable.

“I’m one step ahead of you Scully. I talked to the tavern keeper and she knows the delivery girl for Endicott-Grey teas. Her final delivery delivery of the day is should be here so we’ll have a chance to ask her some questions, if not visit the Endicott mansion ourselves,” Mulder explained.

The day turned out to be cold and dreary, so Mulder and Scully were very happy to spend it within the warm stone walls of the tavern. They chose a table near the fireplace and listened to the howling wind outside their window. They drank warm cider and eavesdropped on the chattering locals. Scully pet the large dog who slept by the door. They even played several rounds of cards with the butcher, the tailor, and the highwayman, the latter of which Mulder suspected was cheating. Despite the circumstances, the agents appreciated being able to spend a peaceful day together. No paperwork, no conspiracies, no deadlines, just them. Just two people on an adventure together.

It was just before dinner when the tea delivery arrived. The tavern keeper had put a few more logs on the fire and the musicians were just warming up for the night. The delivery girl chatted with the tavern keeper for several minutes before approaching Mulder and Scully.

“Hello, the tavern keeper mentioned something about you both wanting to speak to me,” the girl studied the agents, her freckled cheeks were still red from the cold. She shook the remaining snow out of her red hair. “I’m guessing the two of you aren’t from around here so is this about Wirt and Greg?” She asked, with both suspicion and concern.

“Yes, did you know them? We were sent to investigate what happened to those two boys when they went into the Unknown and got stuck here ourselves,” Mulder told the girl.

“We want to know what happened to them, but at the same time we would like to return to where we came from. Can you help us with that?” Scully pulled out a chair, inviting her to sit.

“Yes, I met them in the fall. We were friends, but I haven’t seen them since they left the Unknown so I’d be happy to help you. My name’s Beatrice by the way.”


	6. Beatrice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that took longer than expected but good news, the whole fic is plotted out now. I own neither series and let me know what you think :)

“But you’re a human!” Mulder blurted out in shock. The girl rolled her eyes.

“Well yes, what did you expect me to be?”

“According to our file you were a,” Scully paused in disbelief, “bluebird.”

“Yeah, I was. Don’t remind me,” Beatrice grimaced. The tavern keeper brought them all mugs of warm apple cider to drink.

“Sounds like there’s a story behind that.” Mulder smiled sympathetically. 

“Everything has a story behind it Mr, sorry who are you exactly?”

“Mulder, call me Mulder.”

“And your wife’s name is-”

“We’re work partners. I’m agent Scully.”

“Sorry agent Scully, shouldn’t have assumed,” Beatrice looked embarrassed, “wait, agents of what exactly?”

“Well we don’t know how it works here in the Unknown, but where we’re from Scully and I work for our government to investigate cases that are deemed impossible to explain or paranormal in nature.”

“We’re detectives,” Scully clarified. Beatrice nodded in understanding. She still watched them with an air of suspicion.

“Oh, okay. So you’re saying that Wirt and Greg are from your world, and you want know how they ended up in mine?”

“Yes. That’s what we’re trying to understand,” Mulder explained.

“Alright, but how did you get here? Wirt and Greg were lost in the woods. They were just trying to get home.” 

“Mulder and I were driving through a blizzard, at some point the car broke down-”

“What’s a car?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow, not unlike how Scully often did.

“Well, in our world it’s like a horse and buggy without horses and you just have to steer it.” Mulder had never met anyone who had never seen a car before so explaining it was a challenge. 

“There was a blizzard. We were driving through the cemetery Wirt and Greg had gone through. They were doing repairs on the garden wall the boys went over and we drove through until everything went white. We got out of the car and started walking and, it appears that we walked into the Unknown.” Scully finished her story. She took a sip of her cider. It had gone cold.

“You two, you’re as lost as they were.” Beatrice frowned. 

“Your friends, how did they get out of the Unknown.”

“Well agent Scully, Wirt confronted the Beast. He defeated him and I never saw Wirt or his brother ever again.”

“So, to go home, we need to defeat the Beast,” Mulder theorized. Scully was grateful for her partner’s theories.

“I don’t know. I’ve never met people from your world before meeting Wirt and Greg. Not before and not since.” 

“Beatrice, do you know anyone who might know how we can back to our world?” Scully asked.

“Adelaide of the Pasture. If she were still around I’m sure she would know something. Adelaide would also fill your brains with wool and make you her slaves. She wouldn’t have helped you.”

“We’ll pass on this visiting this Adelaide lady,” Mulder joked. 

Beatrice picked at her nails for a moment. She looked around the room, as though one of the other patrons could answer her questions. Eventually she spoke.

“Adelaide does have a sister. The boys met her. Auntie Whispers. She’s on my tea route and I know her niece Lorna. I don’t think she eats people but I can’t make any promises. But she just might be able to help you get home. I can take you there right now if you want.” 

“Thank you,” Scully answered, “I’ll get our coats from upstairs.” She left to get their coats as Beatrice buttoned up hers. She watched Mulder carefully. More with concern than with mistrust.

“Just one more question before we go,” Beatrice asked as Scully came down the stairs with her and Mulder’s belongings that they had left in their room.

“Alright Beatrice, what would you like to know?” Mulder watched the girl as she buttoned her coat.

“Wirt and Greg, did they ever make it home?” There was a twinge of sadness in her voice.

“Yes, yes they did.” Mulder answered. He could see the relief wash over her face. 

And with that, they set out into the night.


	7. Bells and Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once I'm making good time with my updates. I really hope I can finish by Christmas as I'm finally inspired to finish this fic and want to focus on my other WIPs. Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think :)

It was bitterly cold. The wind howled like the ghost of a wolf. Scully regretted leaving the warmth of the tavern as they galloped on towards Auntie Whispers’s cabin. Mulder wrapped his arms around her to keep them both warm. Under normal circumstances Scully would have complained, but at that moment she was thankful for his body heat. Whoever Auntie Whispers was, Scully hoped she had a lit fireplace and some blankets for them. Scully closed her eyes and nodded off.

“Hey there pretty lady, we have reached our destination!” Scully woke with a start at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. She looked up to see Beatrice’s horse looking back at her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she grumbled and elbowed Mulder, who had also fallen asleep.

“No joke, the name’s Fred,” the horse introduced himself, twitching his ears. Mulder couldn’t help but laugh. Scully had nothing to say.

“It’s okay agents, Auntie Whispers says you can come in,” Beatrice informed them, coming back towards the cart from the cabin.

“Beatrice, are you aware the horse can talk?” Scully asked.

“Yeah, he does that,” Beatrice rolled her eyes, “just ignore him.” 

Beatrice lead them into a cozy looking wood cabin. As Scully had hoped, there was indeed a lit fireplace. Tending it was a girl in a blue dress, she looked to be around the same age as Beatrice.

“Are you Auntie Whispers?” asked Mulder.

“No, I’m her niece Lorna. Auntie is just taking a nap but she should be down soon,” the girl replied. Unlike the other residents of the Unknown that Mulder and Scully had met, she had a british accent.

“I’m awake now Lorna, it appears we have some guests.” An ominous dark figure lumbered down the staircase to greet them.

“Yes Auntie Whispers,” Lorna introduced them, “it’s Beatrice the tea girl and she brought with her some travellers lost in the woods.”

“Their names are Mulder,” Beatrice pointed to Mulder, “and Scully” she pointed at Scully.

“I see.” Auntie Whispers sized them up. She was a massive woman, if she was human at all. Her appearance somewhat resembled that of an owl and Mulder found her voice vaguely reminiscent of Tim Curry. She stuck her hand into a wooden barrel, pulled out a little black turtle and sucked it’s flesh out of it’s shell. Beatrice cringed and took a step back.

“Shall I make our guests some tea auntie?” Lorna suggested, already setting the kettle over the fire.

“Of course Lorna, it’s cold outside. I don’t know much about our guests here but their journey in the Unknown isn’t over yet,” Auntie Whispers walked over to Scully, putting a large hand on her forehead, “you especially have to get home. You’ll have another difficult journey ahead of you once you get there too.” Scully’s eyes widened. She was shaking with fear. Mulder put his arm at her, watching Auntie Whispers with murderous intent.

“Care to explain what journey that it?” Mulder wrapped his arm more tightly around his partner.

“You have your own demons to fight Mr. Mulder,” Auntie Whispers stroked his hair. Her hands were cold and clammy and made Mulder’s skin crawl. Scully reached for his hand, intertwining his fingers with her own. Whatever happened they would be there for each other.

“What. Demons?” Mulder growled. 

“The ones in your heart of course. That’s what the boys did. Fight their demons. Only you can fight the beast. Only then can you go home.” The FBI agents nodded uneasily at her suggestion.

“Tea’s ready,” Lorna announced, “cream and sugar?”

“We should go.”

“Mulder?” Scully looked up at her partner.

“Beatrice, where did Wirt and Greg go to fight the beast?” Mulder asked.

“Downstream. There was a fishing trout, he always goes to the same spot.”

“Take us there. Now.” Mulder sounded frantic but he had a hunch about something and Scully had learned to trust his hunches.

“Are you crazy? Do you want to freeze to death?” Beatrice scowled at them.

“I can’t tell you where to go,” Auntie Whispers cut it, “but if you need to go you should go. Just beware of my sister, Adelaide of the Pasture. She is not your friend.” Beatrice flinched at the mention of Adelaide. She reached for her coat.

After grabbing their coats they went back to Beatrice’s cart. The wind was colder than ever. Fred trotted slowly by the riverside. Beatrice watched carefully for the fishing trout. No one spoke, both due to the cold and to fear. Mulder and Scully nearly fell asleep as they rode on through the darkness. There was a beast somewhere and they both felt it, unsure of its exact location but aware of it’s lurking presence. True darkness. True evil. 

“We’re here, this is where I last saw Wirt and Greg. This is where they were when they left the Unknown,” Beatrice whispered to them as the cart slowed to a halt. Groggily, Mulder and Scully stepped out of the cart. It was dark but not pitch black. The moon was out and was nearly full. They looked around to see the forest. The snow glistened like diamonds in the moonlight, it was almost hypnotic to look at. On the other side of them was the frozen river. A massive trout sitting patiently in a canoe continue to fish through a hole in the ice. Beatrice handed them their belongings, tears rolling down her face.

“Thank you Beatrice,” Scully patted her shoulder as a gesture of gratitude.

“When we get back to our world, is there anything you would like us to tell Wirt and Greg?”

“Tell them,” she rubbed the tears from her eyes, “tell them that I’m okay, that my family and I are human again. Tell them that I’m sorry. Tell them I l-...that I miss them and I hope that they’re alright. Tell them, thank you.” Beatrice smiled. She went back to her cart and left. She had taken them as far as she could go. 

‘It’s up to us now,’ Mulder thought to himself. Scully leaned against a tree. Her nose was bleeding and she was falling asleep. He sat down beside her. There were a lot of leaves underneath the snow and it was a comfortable spot to take a quick rest. Mulder yawned and rubbed his eyes. Before long he fell asleep too.


	8. Dark Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters to go. Maybe I actually will finish this fic by Christmas. As always I own neither television series. Please let me know any feedback you may have. Enjoy!

For most of his life, Mulder was very much an insomniac. More often than not, sleep eluded him and he spent his nights lying on his couch at odd hours, either staring at the fishtank or watching terrible paid programming on television. But that was in his world. Here in the Unknown it was easy to curl up in the snow and fall asleep. Too easy. Mulder was suspicious of the woods, but was far too tired to do anything about it.

He felt the branches growing around him. An unwanted hug from the surrounding trees. Scully was barely visible under the new growth, her red hair peaked out slightly from beneath the branches. He could help her, he should help her, but he closed his eyes. Rest. They both needed rest.

And so, Mulder rested. He was at peace. He knew of the danger surrounding them but he was too tired to fight. He thought about his partnership with Scully and how much better his life was with her by his side. He loved her. He needed her. He didn’t want to lose her. It didn’t matter what kind of relationship they had as long as they were together. And even surrounded by branches, they were together. Mulder could, at least for a short while, rest peacefully.

Soon enough, the gentle ringing of sleigh bells drifted down from above. Groggy as ever, Mulder rubbed his eyes and looked up. It was santa’s sleigh, flying reindeer and all. And it was approaching them.

“Need a ride?” The man in the sleigh asked. To Mulder’s surprise, it was not Santa Claus, but rather Elvis Presley dressed up in a santa suit. 

“I’ve always wanted to meet you!” Mulder nodded. His eyes lit up like a young child who just got a puppy for Christmas. He climbed into the sleigh, unaware that he was leaving both his body and partner behind. 

“Cloud City here we come!” Elvis announced as the reindeer flew them back up into the sky, sleigh bells jingling. Mulder felt lightheaded by the time the sleigh made it up into the clouds. While air travel was part of his job as an FBI agent, riding in a reindeer-drawn sleigh with Elvis in a santa suit was not part of his daily grind. Scully would never believe him if he told her. And yet, they kept flying up, all the way to the top of the tallest clouds.

“Welcome to Cloud City,” Elvis welcomed Mulder as they landed. 

Mulder took a second to absorb the scenery. Cloud City was really more of a small town than anything else. It looked like what a child would draw while thinking of a city made of clouds would like like. The roads and houses were all made of fluffy white and pink clouds but the furniture and other objects around the town looked like they would on earth but with the proportions slightly off, the way they would be in a child’s drawing. Mulder had no idea where he was or what was happening, but he was there and did not have the energy to question anything at the moment. He heard the sound of trumpets and watched what must have been the residents of cloud city as they approached.

First came a group of little grey aliens, some singing and some playing trumpets. “We are Cloud City’s reception committee, and we are here to welcome you,” they announced.

After them came a group of angels. Victoria’s Secret angels, rather than the religious kind Mulder assumed Scully would prefer to see. “We are Cloud City’s auxiliary reception committee, and we are here to welcome you,” they also sang.

Finally, a group of mythical creatures followed them into the center of town. Mothman and Bigfoot walked in together arm in arm, the Jersey Devil flew down towards them, and the Loch Ness monster swam in through the clouds. They all cheered for him as they took their place behind the reception committees. 

“Aaaand, play ball!” Elvis snapped his fingers and the center of town turned into a baseball diamond. Mothman handed him a bat and the Jersey Devil was behind him as the catcher. An alien was pitching. Mulder grabbed the bat and hit the ball as hard as he could. The ball flew far away, so far in fact that it hit the gate on a dark cloud off in the distance. A cold wind began to blow in and everyone began to panic.

“Why is everyone panicking?” Mulder asked Bigfoot.

“You, you released the old North Wind. He’s going to come out and destroy us!” Bigfoot explained as he ran. 

Sure enough, several buff-looking cloud men marched out of the now-opened gate. Following them was none other than the very smoking man who had terrorised Mulder for years. The old chainsmoker wore a grey suit and puffed away on one of his cancer sticks. He glided through the clouds towards the city, making tornadoes by blowing into his cigarettes. He cackled maniacally. Mulder watched him for a while until he caught the old smoker’s eye. The smoking man chased after him into one of the alien’s houses. Mulder closed the doors and windows. He chased the old man around the house then, as he was about to lunge, trapped him in a bottle. Mulder looked down at the bottle, it was labelled ‘Old Windbag’. He brought the bottle outside to show the town and everyone cheered. 

Suddenly, the clouds parted to the sound of angels singing. A girl in a white dress sitting on a cloud floated down to them. She brushed her long brown hair out of her face. A face that was very familiar to Mulder.

“Hey buttmunch,” Samantha smiled weakly, “long time no see.” She looked exactly the same as when she had been abducted by aliens as an eight year old child.

“Samantha!” Mulder ran over and hugged his sister. He could feel hot tears rolling down his face as he sobbed into her hair.

“You grew up.” She offered him a tissue made of cloud to wipe his eyes with.

“Only physically Samantha, I still can’t cook and I always watch Saturday morning cartoons.” Mulder sat down beside her on the cloud. “Wait, how did you get here? How long have you been here?”

“I’m the Queen of the Clouds Fox. This is my city, time is weird here in the Unknown. People see what they want to see, but I’ve been here for what feels like a very long time. I’m happy here,” she handed Mulder another cloud tissue as he continued to cry, “Thank you for saving my city. I’ll give you one wish, anything you want. Well, within reason, I’m not letting you beat me at Stratego.”

“Can you help Scully and I get back to our car? To get out of the Unknown?”

“I can help you Fox, but I can’t save your partner,” Samantha showed Mulder where Scully was. Her nose was bleeding and her body was being overtaken by the roots of a tree, “she’s too far gone.”

Mulder looked at his sister, then at his partner, and then at his sister again. He thought about the incident two years ago with the alien bounty hunter and his sister’s clone. Mulder took a deep breath and whispered his wish into Samantha’s ear. He knew exactly what he had to do.

“Are you sure Fox, are you sure about this?” She looked at him sadly and he nodded, “you really love her don’t you?”

“More than anyone or anything I’ve ever known.” Mulder gave his sister one last hug as the world around him faded away.

…………………….

It was the sound of singing that Scully woke up to. The soft yet ominous baritone voice that carried through the woods. She opened her eyes to find Mulder nowhere in sight. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a light. It was the lantern she had found upon entering the Unknown. The glass was broken but the flame inside still burned bright. Someone had lit the lantern. She wasn’t alone in the woods.

“Hello Dana, I’ve been waiting for you,” the voice greeted her as a shadow approached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mulder's hallucination was hard to write but once I realized I couldn't produce anything worse than 'Babylon' I felt kind of empowered to keep writing.


	9. The Lantern of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went on vacation for a few days but now I'm back and here is the penultimate chapter. Let me know what you think <3

Her nose was still bleeding. In the light of the lantern, Scully could see the blood smear on her hand as she wiped it away from her face. The metallic taste rolled into her mouth and down her throat. She gulped and looked up at the shadow coming towards her. From a distance it looked like the shadow of a man, but as it approached Scully could see that it was a not a man at all but a shadow creature with antlers and glowing eyes. It was the closest thing to a demon she had ever encountered, at least since Donnie Pfaster broke into her home. A chill rolled down her spine as she stared down the creature, “how do you know my name,” she asked, “who are you?”

“I have many names young truth-seeker, but to the residents of this land, the Unknown, I am the Beast. I know everything about the lost souls that wander into my forest. Including your partner, and including you Dana.” His long shadowy fingers stroked a nearby tree. The Beast had no visible mouth but Scully could swear he was smiling.

“My partner, where is my partner? What did you do to Mulder?” she hissed, trying her best not to show fear. The Beast moved closer.

“Your partner, he was a lost soul. Like all lost souls he has become one with the forest. Luckily for you, I was able to save his soul,” the Beast stood over her, she could feel glowing eyes burning down onto her skull.

“No!” she screamed. The Beast cupped her face in his hand and forced her to look up at his featureless face.

“You can save him you know, him and yourself,” the Beast tapped Scully’s forehead right between her eyes, “you can’t go back to your world Dana. You’re dying, deep down you know this. There’s nothing your healers can do for you. But me, I can help you. I alone can save you. If, and only if, you remain here in the Unknown.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” she scowled at the Beast..

“Time is different here in the Unknown, people don’t get sick. Not like they do in your world. While you are here, you may keep the lantern lit with the oil of the Edelwood trees. The soul of your partner will remain in this lantern, but only as long as it remains lit. Once the light goes out, his soul will be lost forever to the darkness. If that were to happen, you would never see him again. Remain with him, remain with me, remain here. Right now I am your only friend,” the Beast spoke with conviction. Scully watched him for a moment, then she looked at the lantern. It had been broken once before. There had been no Beast until the lantern was lit and suddenly Scully remembered the notes at the end of the file about how Wirt and Greg had allegedly escaped from the Unknown. It was worth the risk. She reached for the lantern. It took all her strength but she stood up. And she laughed.

“That’s the biggest load of bat crap I’ve ever heard.” Scully ran towards the river, the Beast following close behind her, attempting to grab and drag her away.

“You don’t believe me?” The Beast roared with rage. The whole forest shook with his contempt. Scully wiped the blood from her nose, her head was throbbing but she picked up the lantern and looked him square into his burning eyes.

“Just call me a skeptic,” Scully spat at the Beast. She threw the lantern into the one part of the river that hadn’t frozen over yet. She heard a faint splash as it sunk down to the bottom. Where no one could light it again anytime soon. Suddenly, the river started to thaw. Everything was wet. Everything went black.


	10. Home for the Holidays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done. Oh my goodness I actually met my deadline and finished before Christmas. Now to meet all my other deadlines in life haha. If you're still reading this thank you so much and hope you've enjoyed this ridiculous crossover that I just had to write (note: I own neither of these series). As always I'm starving feedback so let me know what you think.

The first thing Scully felt was the threadbare hospital blanket. Rolling her shoulders and moving her head around, she felt the stiff hospital mattress and flimsy pillow. Her back hurt and it took Scully a moment before she could work up the courage to open her eyes, memories of the Unknown still fresh in her mind. The worst was over. The Beast was gone. She was back in the real world. She had nothing to fear. Still, she flinched as she heard the footsteps walking into the room.

“Hey Scully,” Mulder brushed a piece of hair out of her face and sat down on the chair beside her bed, “it’s just me.” 

“Mulder, you’re here, you’re okay,” Scully reached out and hugged her partner, “you’re okay.” She felt the tug of the IV in her arm and lay back down afterwards, “what happened to us?” Scully looked up at her partner who handed her a glass of water. It was tepid but she drank it anyways.

“They were doing repairs on the garden wall at the cemetery when we were going to investigate what happened to those kids. It was a blizzard, and I drove us right through and crashed into the lake behind the train tracks. We were lucky that someone called an ambulance when they did. I’m so sorry Scully. We almost drowned.” Mulder’s eyes were wet with guilt. Scully reached up with a flimsy hospital tissue and wiped the tears from his face.

“Sorry or not, you both made the news,” Assistant director Walter Skinner grumbled, walking in with a rolled up newspaper in his hand. He looked tired. He always looked tired. Both agents sat up a little straighter. The three of them stared at each other wearily. No one said a word. They had run out of things to say.

It was the sound of a frog that cut the tension between the agents. A young boy ran into the room, “hey there newsmakers, would you like to meet Jason Funderburker? He’s my favourite frog,” the frog in his arms blinked.

“Greg, Greg, what are you doing?” An older, nervous-looking boy ran in after him.

“I’m showing the FBI people my frog ol’ brother-o-mine.” Skinner buried his face in his hands and sighed. He hated when these types of cases made the news.

“Greg, I’ve heard that name,” Scully scratched her head. “You must be Wirt,” she pointed at the older boy.

“Yeah, ummm, that would be us.” Wirt patted Greg’s head. He was considerably jumpier than his younger brother.

“Did you go on an adventure in the Unknown?” Greg asked, “did you meet the pumpkin people?”

“Yes, we did. They were having a Christmas party. My friend Scully and I even met your friend Beatrice,” Wirt jumped as Mulder mentioned her name, “she told us to tell you that she and her family are happy and human again. She also wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank you for telling us that,” Wirt blushed and turned away.

“If Beatrice isn’t a bluebird anymore, do you think she misses flying?”

“No, she seemed relieved to be a human again,” Scully explained. Wirt sighed with relief. 

“Did you go to Cloud City?” Young Greg appeared to be full of questions.

“Yes, I went to Cloud City and saved the town from the Old North Wind!”

“I did that too!” Greg announced and Mulder ruffled his hair. Skinner looked about ready to faint.

“Did you have to fight the Beast?” Wirt whispered, there was a certain terror in his voice and a silence that followed.

“Yes,” Scully admitted, “I did.” Her eyes met Wirt’s in understanding. It was only a ribbit by Jason Funderburker that broke the tension in the room.

“Have you figured out how to come and go to and from the Unknown? Greg and I almost drowned and we were only able to regain consciousness by fighting the Beast. Not that that makes any sense. I mean, we all have our own personal demons to fight but it might have a connection to the cemetery? Does it have a connection with the cemetary?” Wirt philosophised as he paced back and forth.

“We, my partner and I, can’t prove anything using existing technology and investigation techniques. Perhaps it’s a shared hallucination inspired by surrounding influences but we have no way of verifying this.”

“All we can say is that it wasn’t a garden-variety case,” Mulder joked. Scully and Skinner stared at each other in frustration but the boys laughed.

………………………

It took a few hours, but Mulder and Scully finally got out of the hospital and back into their rental car. It continued to snow. Scully drove this time, first through town and eventually onto the highway.

“So you fought the Beast.” Mulder looked out the window, munching on a bag of sunflower seeds bought from one of the hospital’s many vending machines.

“I did. He resembled the description we read in the file. His soul was in the lantern and I threw it in the river,” Scully stated, in a matter of fact manner. Still, her hands shook and she gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. 

“I’m sorry,” Mulder apologised.

“For what?” Scully raised an eyebrow, grasping the steering wheel as tightly as ever..

“For making you face him alone.” Mulder raked his fingers through the shells of the sunflower seeds he had eaten.

“Mulder you’re my partner and I trust you, whatever happened you made the best decision. The Beast is at the bottom of a river back in the Unknown and we’re stuck in traffic on our way back to the office. Don’t be sorry.”  
“But-”

“Mulder if you apologise one more time I really will sit you next to Bill at Christmas dinner.”

“I’ll wear my favourite Christmas sweater, the one with aliens wearing Christmas hats.” Mulder stretched his arms out Scully couldn’t help but smile at her partner’s corny jokes. 

“Mind if we take a detour?” Scully asked, looking up at the signs by the side of the road.

“Works for me, I’m out of sunflower seeds.” Mulder rattled his bag of empty shells.

“Good, I wanted to get a Christmas tree.”

“Scully you’ve had yours set up for weeks.”

“It’s for my mom. Besides, I’m sure she’ll make us dinner if we help her decorate it,” Scully argued.

“Scully, I haven’t decorated a Christmas tree since I was 12,” Mulder’s eyes lit up as though he had just me Santa Claus, “I would love to.”

“Well then,” Scully pulled into a spot in the Christmas tree lot, “let’s make it a new tradition.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. Mulder smiled. Elvis might not be with them this time, but Mulder had a hunch that this would be the best Christmas he’d had in a very long time.


End file.
